Back Again
by strawberry0909
Summary: When Olivia and Kathy get into an accident, the detective can't help but reminisce the time she spent with Elliot while he had been separated from his wife. Can they go back to just being partners again?


**Hey there! I finally decided to venture into FanFiction and this is the first of, hopefully, many stories I'd like to share with you.**

' **Decided' might not be the most fitting word here, however; 'lovingly persuaded' sounds more like what happened, now that I think about how unbreakable86 talked me into joining your awesome community. She is also to blame for the topic of this one-shot – I've been an 'SVU'-addict ever since watching it with her. I sincerely hope that she enjoys this little homage to her and her incredibly talented writing. If you have not done so already, check out her texts here!**

 **While we're shipping different couples on this show (I'm more of an Olivia/Elliot fan than she is), we definitely share a certain enthusiasm (some might call it fangirling) when it comes to Olivia/Alex. I already heard that these two camps do not necessarily like each other... but, as you can see, a friendship is possible! So, let's just enjoy the creative outbursts that Dick Wolf continues to provoke in all of us with the great characters he envisioned. In case you're a hard-boiled O/E shipper though, you might want to skip the last paragraph of this story.**

 **This one-shot is inspired by 9/9, 'Paternity', some of the featured dialogue is taken from and/or inspired by this episode as well. Flashbacks are in italics.**

 **I'm looking forward to all of your reviews and opinions on my first take on the 'SVU'-universe. Thanks in advance for reading!**

 **Back Again**

Olivia Benson clenched her jaw as she slowly became aware of her surroundings again. A pungent and coppery smell filled her nostrils. She inhaled sharply – blood, it's blood – as she noticed the airbag that had knocked her unconscious, now limply dangling in front of her. She quickly turned to her right, remembering the accident, seeing Kathy Stabler. Her head was tilted to the left, one pale arm protectively covering her pregnant belly, the other one hanging feebly by her side. She was unconscious.

Olivia closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. After giving herself a brief checkup – no visible blood, nothing broken, guaranteed headache and bruises later on, but just scratches otherwise – the brunette Detective turned towards Kathy. "Hey... hey, Kathy, can you hear me?" Olivia coughed, the sticky air in her car still being filled with fumes and smoke after the accident. And that thick, sickening smell of blood... Olivia swallowed heavily, fighting down a nauseous feeling that threatened to wash over her. She carefully lifted Kathy's head. A rush of adrenalin had already begun to show its effects, and Olivia's hands were shaking slightly. Forcing herself to work slowly and remain calm, she readjusted the position of Kathy's head, before reaching for the radio and communicating their position. While she secured Kathy's neck and waited for the ambulance to arrive on scene, an onrush of memories rattled Olivia's mind.

" _She said I worked too much."_

" _Well, to be fair, Elliot – you are a workaholic."_

" _You know, they say it takes one to know one."_

 _Elliot Stabler pressed his forehead against his fists and sat slumped on a barstool, nursing his fifth straight rye. Olivia had already noticed the slight slur in his voice, but could also see the alcohol's effect in his eyes as he now rubbed the back of his head with both hands before emptying his tumbler in one swift chug and signaling for another one. Olivia frowned, her lips tight. He raised his eyes at her. She got hold of the freshly poured tumbler before Elliot could and sat on the barstool next to him. He grunted in her direction._

" _Oh, come on, you've had enough."_

 _He shrugged. "Huh. Well, what'd you wanna drink to?"_

 _Olivia avoided his piercing gaze, sipping the amber liquid silently. She could feel him inch closer, the alcohol making his motion less subtle than he had probably hoped it to be._

" _Liv, I... I've been meaning to tell you for so long now, that I...um..."_

 _His hands found hers, taking the empty tumbler from them and placing it on the bar. He entwined one of her hands with his and lifted the other towards his lips. With her mouth agape in surprise, she immediately pulled both hands away, staring at him._

" _Elliot, what..."_

" _Wait, now, listen!"  
He took one of her still raised hands in his, clutching it. She sensed the warmth of his dry skin cupping her cold fingers and swallowed hard. God, it felt good – but it seemed so unlike him at the same time. Seeing her friend this vulnerable and beat truly got to her. So did her anger at him for apparently wanting to replace his longtime wife that fast. And for having the nerve to even suggest this, to put their partnership at risk that carelessly. It was a confusing, unsettling cocktail of emotions that would drown her if she let it. She could feel her eyes already brimming with hot tears. Blinking rapidly to keep them from flowing, she interrupted him. _

" _No, Elliot – you listen. This is not the time to... I will not be your palate cleanser here – or your rebound, if you prefer the direct approach."  
His gaze dropped, his hold of her hand loosened. She bit her lower lip before continuing in a softer tone._

" _Things'll work out, I'm sure of it. Kathy just... maybe Kathy just needs some time to think about what she wants from your relationship and from the life you share. You've been married for quite some time now, some things might just need a little... attention. And you can't deny the fact that you often do work overtime. Perhaps you should... slow down a little. You know, spend more time with her and the kids and – and also grant yourself to enjoy this time. What we..."_

 _She sighed deeply. Lowering her face a little, she tried to meet his eyes again. He tilted his head to look up at her._

" _We're partners, El, and we're a good team. Period. So let's just... don't do this to all of us. Not to yourself, not to her, not to us. You're better than that."_

 _She released her hand and gave him a pat on the shoulder that was meant to be reassuring, but became something far less confident._

" _Get some rest, partner. See you in the morning."_

 _Elliot nodded. He watched Olivia turn around and leave the bar with those long and energetic strides of hers. He could be wrong, but some of her usual verve seemed to be missing. When she was just about to push open the door, he called out to her._

" _Liv?"_

 _She turned around to look at him. Raising her eyebrows questioningly, she waited with one hand on the door, the other in the pocket of her coat._

" _You knew right away what I was getting at, didn't you?"_

 _She bit her lip again and finally turned to leave. He slowly swiveled back to the bar and feebly raised his forefinger to order another whiskey._

When the ambulance and firemen arrived, Kathy had already regained her consciousness. Olivia had been able to calm her down, but their current position was still dangerous both to Kathy and the baby. "We can't open the door, ma'am, and we won't get her out the window...we'll need to cut off the roof, so we can..." A short, shrill scream interrupted the young Officer who had talked Olivia through administering first aid and medicating Kathy. The pale blonde blinked back tears and tightly grabbed Olivia's hand before she locked eyes with the Detective and tried to speak under shallow breaths. "That was... a contraction. I think, God, my... ah, my water must've broke." Olivia returned Kathy's grip and nodded. "Officer, we need to get her out of here, she can't spread her legs in this position and the baby's coming." The young policeman nodded and called for the firemen to remove the car's roof. Olivia held on to Kathy's hand, calming the travailing woman by softly stroking her hair and steadily breathing with her.

 _Elliot dropped his pen and rubbed his face with both hands. Olivia looked up from her paperwork, as he let out a deep sigh. It was late and they were alone at the precinct. She wasn't sure if she wanted to tackle the elephant in the room though. Neither could she tell if their partnership was ready for it, nor if their colleagues were, heck, if she herself was. She tentatively smiled at him before raising her voice._

" _Tough day?" She rested her arms on her desk, putting down her pen as well._

" _You have no idea." His answer was somewhat muted by his hands which were still holding his face. When he crossed his arms and looked at her, she could see that the dark shades beneath his eyes were more than an optical illusion caused by their dim desk lights. She tilted her head in anticipation, as he steadied himself in his chair and locked eyes with her._

" _Uh, you know... work's work, and Chris and I are starting to get on each other's nerves."_

 _A slight grin became visible around the corners of Olivia's lips._

" _I'm shocked! I thought you've known him since you met each other in the Marine Corps?"_

" _That's right, I do. But, turns out, being good friends while serving together and actually living together as, well, civilians are two completely different things. Completely different, I tell you! I'm on the lookout for something of my own now."_

 _He went on detailing the daily lives of his buddy and him. Olivia and Elliot chuckled. But making fun of mundane episodes didn't take the edge of the tense atmosphere in the room. She cleared her throat and finally returned to her paperwork. He watched her for a while, rubbing his lips. He rested his arms on his desk before addressing her again._

" _I know you probably don't wanna hear this. Or maybe you do, I can't tell anymore... you seem to have, I dunno, retracted yourself more and more ever since Mr. Rye lent me the guts to suggest this... this craziness that's hovering above us the whole time. And I just wanna make sure that..."_

 _She held up a hand and raised her gaze at him. She could tell by his agonized expression that discussing this with her troubled him. Yet, she couldn't keep a sharp tone from creeping into her voice. She knew that it wasn't so much directed at him, but rather at herself for even allowing the idea of trying this to enter her mind again._

" _Ok, now, hold on! I didn't retract myself or anything, I..."_

 _There it was. If she was ever going to admit any of her feelings, it had to be now or never. Her sigh made him purse his lips and hold back his question. He just raised his eyebrows, his blue eyes never leaving her face._

" _I wanted you to be sure. You had to be sure before we could allow this to happen, before we could allow ourselves this – yeah, this craziness. I mean, it's been what now, five weeks? We're no horny teenagers anymore, El. At least I don't like the thought of us behaving like some. You were married for such a long time, you have this huge responsibility that comes with children and we, we as partners, have this responsibility, too – it's our responsibility to stay professional, to do our jobs right. And we can not risk this by giving in to some... oh, I dunno, to some impulsive notions."_

 _He nodded, interlacing his fingers and looking down on his desk. His voice sounded hoarse to her ears when he finally answered.  
"You're right. I was just hoping it might've been more than an impulse for you too."_

 _He got up and quickly shrugged into his suit jacket. When he passed Olivia's desk on his way to the door, the brunette got up from her chair._

" _Elliot..."_

" _What? I get it, partners from now on, alright?"_

" _I said I needed you to be sure that you want this, and..."_

" _I get it, Liv, 'needed', 'wanted' – past tense. Hint taken."_

 _He gently pushed her aside, trying to continue his way towards the door. She took his arm._

" _Are you?"_

 _He swallowed, his responding question a mere rasp._

" _Am I what?"_

 _Olivia held his gaze before rephrasing her question._

" _Are you sure of this?"_

 _He looked at her. Without leaving her eyes, he slowly nodded. When Olivia let go of his arm, he wrapped it around her waist and pulled her close. A warm shudder ran down her back, as she noticed how his breathing intensified while he waited for her to lift her face up and offer her lips._

Kathy's breathing was labored, sharp intakes of air followed by desperate exhales that were accompanied by small, whimpering moans of pain. "It'll be alright, Kathy, only ten minutes to the hospital!" Olivia held on to the blonde's hand, while two paramedics lifted her onto a stretcher. "You're doing great, lady, just a couple more minutes, and this'll all be over." The young paramedic smiled reassuringly at her, as he positioned himself next to her in the back of the departing ambulance.

" _Just a couple more minutes..." Elliot's voice was muffled by the blue pillow he had put across his face._

" _Get moving, El, we're gonna be late!" Olivia was already out of bed, smirking at his flexed arm muscles as he pressed the pillow against his face, a short fluff of rumpled hair barely visible above it. Her expression went from lusty to reminiscing – she still hadn't gotten quite used to the side of a naked Elliot Stabler in her bed. Not that she was complaining. His voice interrupted her thoughts._

" _What's the use in living in Manhattan when you have to get up that early, anyway?" He threw the pillow in her direction, looking at her in pretended protest after her return throw bounced off his head. She shrugged._

" _Well, all I can say to that is that I'll be in the shower now. Draw any conclusion you want here..."_

" _Ah, great! That means I'll have the whole bed to me for a change. You know, you really are a restless sleeper."_

 _She stuck out her tongue at him before starting to take slow and exaggerated steps towards the bathroom. He rolled over, hugging the pillow to his chest, and rapidly blinked in a mockingly seductive manner._

" _Or – you could always come back here, Liv..."_

 _She laughed throatily and continued her way towards the bathroom._

 _Resting the palms of her hands against the shower's wall, she savored the sensation of steaming hot water running down her back and was about to reach for the shower foam, when she heard the door open behind her._

" _Let me give you a hand with that. Two, in fact." Elliot's voice was husky and thick, and Olivia knew that this was only partly due to his being just out of bed. He stepped in behind her, his body firmly pushing against hers. Wrapping his arms around her, he put some of the orange scented foam onto his palms. He started massaging her neck and shoulders, taking his time, venturing deeper. A soft moan escaped Olivia's slightly opened lips as she arched her back. Elliot leaned his head against hers and whispered in her ear, sending electric shudders down her back._

" _Hey there, you are eager today."_

 _He tenderly nibbled at her neck while raising his hands to her breasts._

" _Whew! I thought it was hot in here, but parts of you don't seem to agree, Liv."_

 _He could feel her smile next to his own cheek. A small chuckle made its way up from the back of her throat._

" _Or is that an entirely different thing? Huh? Why don't you tell me, Detective?"_

 _Olivia was laughing now, turning around to look at him. She could see the humorous sparkle in his blue eyes, as a boyish grin lit up his face. She wrapped herself around him and leaned in for a deliciously lazy kiss._

" _We're gonna take our time with this, ok?" He took her face into his hands._

" _And by this I do not only mean this gorgeous morning ritual right here, because I'm planning on teasing you for at least – ", he raised his arm to look at his watch, "another half hour. No, I also mean us. We're gonna do this right and properly... and tell the others as soon as we feel like it, ok?"_

" _Yes, as soon as we feel like it." She nodded before placing a small kiss on his right palm._

The ambulance was rushing to the hospital at flank speed. "I can't... this baby's coming!" Kathy's breaths came in short, controlled bursts. Olivia looked at the paramedic. He nodded and pointed at Kathy's back. "Ok then, ma'am, I need you to get behind this soon-to-be mommy and support her back!" The paramedic kneeled in front of Kathy's now spread legs. He motioned towards her. "Alright, lady, now – push!" Olivia watched Kathy giving birth to Elliot's child, propping the blonde up and helping her with steadying her breathing. She had to blink back the tears that threatened to roll over her cheeks. She remembered the night she had awoken to find herself alone in her bed. The sheets next to hers had been crumpled and a light scent of woody cologne and male sweat had still been there, but Elliot had not. She knew that he had been going through hard times after being accused of killing that young guy and she recalled how the thought of losing his job had tortured him. After he had returned to Kathy that night, they had never mentioned whatever these past months had been and Olivia somehow managed to keep the nagging questions at bay during work. They came back to her at night, though – had she not been enough? Had their shared experiences as partners turned out to be an obstacle, rather than an additional bond?

Over time, they tried their best to silently renew their mutual promise of professionalism. Yet, Olivia vividly remembered the last conversation about a case she attended to with Elliot right before she took his pregnant wife to a prophylactic doctor's appointment that he couldn't make – right before the accident, the last time she had seen and spoken to him.

" _Why should we tell him that his wife cheated on him and that he isn't the biological father of his son? It's just not for us to decide when and how he gets to know that!"  
"Look, Elliot, he has the right to know. He put all his trust, love and energies into his relationship with this woman – this woman, who betrayed him with God knows who and made him believe their only child is actually his."_

" _Liv, that's not part of our job. I mean, look at them. It's a happy marriage, a happy family... who are we to destroy that by mentioning her affair?"  
Olivia halted to glare at him. He also stopped and put his hands on his hips, sighing softly before lowering his voice and apparently inspecting his shoes._

" _Liv, listen... I don't think that – I mean, we didn't exactly..."_

 _She shook her head and interrupted him, her voice sounding a lot more confident and way bubblier than she felt._

" _No, sure – you're right. Yeah, who are we to do that?"_

 _When she turned around to leave, Elliot still recognized the faint outlines of a sad smile around Olivia's lips._

Elliot exited his wife's room at the maternity ward, his lips suggesting a proud smile, his eyes glowing with joyful tears. When Olivia saw him, she put down her coffee and walked towards him, finally allowing a relieved smile to show on her lips.

"It's a baby boy. Elliot, I..."

Before she could finish her congratulations, Elliot yanked her in his arms and held her tightly. She could feel his broad shoulders shaking as he pulled her even deeper into his embrace and buried his face in her hair. She bit her lip, but couldn't keep a tear from rolling down her cheek. When she heard his voice right next to her ear, the small hairs on her neck stood up and a familiar sensation of belonging flooded through her.

"Thank you, Liv."

"You're most welcome – partner."

When Olivia arrived back at the precinct and still tried to convince herself that the paperwork won't get done on its own, Fin leaned against the edge of her desk, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"How're ya doing, Liv? You know, um – Elliot told me what happened."

She smiled up at him. Exhaustion and relief were equally noticeable in her face.

"Yeah, it was tough. But Kathy and her baby boy are alright, we made it to the hospital on time. And she is a battle-hardened mother, after all."

Fin laughed quietly.

"Yeah, you did great there. I'm glad you all made it and Elliot owes me one now – I knew Kathy'd have a little boy."

"He wants to name him Elliot junior. Can you believe it?"  
They both snickered. Fin raised his eyebrows at her.

"Does the world really need another Elliot Stabler?"

She laughed.

"That's what I said to him in the hospital when he told me!"

"You go, girl. But – to be honest, that's not what I meant when I said Elliot told me what happened."

Olivia looked at him. His eyes were gentle and understanding as he nodded at her sadly. Her lips tightened, but she returned his nod. A thankful smile finally brightened her features. After shifting himself into a more upright position, Fin patted her shoulder.

"Here's a bright idea, Benson. Why don't you apply your great Detective skills to your immediate surroundings?"

"What do you mean?"

"All I'm saying is you've not been the only lady who's been moping around here lately."

"Wait, what..."

Alex Cabot entered the office and approached the two of them. The blonde ADA smiled.

"Hey there. Who's up for coffee?"


End file.
